The Cubicle Survival Guide Blog

Three Walls

2011-08-31T07:46:00.005-05:00

Economic Woes Reorder Cubicle Lunches

2011-08-11T15:36:00.001-05:00

Are you trying to save money by not eating out as much during lunch? Well, you're not alone. It seems the manic economic situation we're experiencing has cubicle dwellers everywhere rethinking that $9 salad and $12 gourmet sandwich. This, however, is harder to do than you may think. Employees used to certain lunch lifestyles are finding it difficult to downgrade their lunches by waking up earlier to make their own.

Have you tried to cut back on buying lunch? How successful have you been?

Cubicle Reality: Plans to Go

2011-08-08T11:56:00.000-05:00

By this point, just about anyone who works in a cubicle has seen someone near them get laid off. It's a sad sight and one that most definitely makes an impression and has people thinking "What if this happens to me?" Though many cubicle workers may never admit it, many have a box or folder already prepared for that day when they get tapped on the shoulder and called into an HR meeting where the guest of honor is you.

"Go to the bottom left drawer of my desk," they say at the conclusion of the meeting. "All of my personal things and important paperwork are in a box. I know I have to leave the building, but can you meet me outside and give it to me? Thanks."

Any readers out there experiencing these types of thoughts? Maybe an attempt to control your destiny in an economic climate where no one feels safe?

Cubicle Crazy: A Survey

2011-08-03T00:38:00.000-05:00

On a scale of one to 10, with 10 being absolutely bleeding from your eyes crazy, how insane have you ever felt at your job? Let us know. You're not alone. We swear.

Check It Out: The Office Professional

2011-07-27T22:41:00.003-05:00

Dear Readers,

Just wanted to let you know that if you enjoy reading The Cubicle Survival Guide blog, you'll find The Office Professional interesting too! I write for TOP, and know firsthand they offer top-notch services, products and content. Check it out: http://www.theofficeprofessional.com/

Best,

James F. Thompson

How to Build an Office Desk... from Legos

2011-07-26T22:28:00.000-05:00

In 15 years this poor kid is going to regret his love of office desks. Maybe he'll grow up to do something outside, like be a park ranger.

Summer Sizzles Cubicle Commuters

2011-07-22T12:34:00.002-05:00

This weather is simply unbearable. Emlpoyees are walking into the office covered in a sheen of sweat, their moods overcooked like limp pasta. You can't blame people for sporting a bad disposition when they're soaked in their own sweat and have to sit in a conference room and filled with hazy July sunshine overlooking a crappy parking lot. At least there is air conditioning.

How are you beating the heat this week?

What Music Do You Listen to?

2011-07-19T16:39:00.002-05:00

We all know how uninspiring cubicle life can be, so many of us find a way to listen to music. So, when stuck in your cubicle, what genre of music do you find is the most productive to work to?

(a) jazz
(b) rock
(c) rap
(d) heavy metal
(e) classical
(f) alternative
(g) pop
(h) easy listening
(i) polka
(j) world
(l) techno

Cubicle Sitch: Stained Shirt

2011-07-15T11:37:00.001-05:00

You're working in your cubicle and as you take a sip of your Starbuck's coffee, some drips on your white shirt (don't you hate it when the seam of the cup is lined up beneath the lid's hole!). You have a big meeting in 20 minutes. Choose which reaction most resembles you:

(a) I laugh and don't worry about the stain. Shit happens.

(b) I buy a bottle of water in the break room and dab the stain with a wet napkin.

(c) I got to the bathroom, take off the shirt, and wash the stain out thoroughly.

(d) I call my spouse and have them deliver a clean shirt.

(e) I reach behind me, grab the spare shirt I have hanging in my cubicle for just such an occasion, and change shirts in the bathroom.

(f) I ask my cubicle neighbor if I can borrow his leather Motörhead jacket.

Cubicle Foul!!!

2011-07-12T12:57:00.001-05:00

Which cubicle foul is the bigger transgression?

(a) talking too loudly

(b) wearing too much perfume/cologne

(c) clipping your fingernails

(d) uninvited visits/interrupting your cubicle neighbor

(e) eavesdropping

(f) using the speakerphone

Don't Be an Idiot...

2011-07-10T17:11:00.001-05:00

Complete the Cubicle Nightmare...

2011-07-08T17:21:00.000-05:00

It's 10:24am on an idle Tuesday morning. It's business as usual for you in your cubicle. You're busy, but not too busy, and the rest of the day looks comfortably predictable. All of the sudden, your cubicle neighbor knocks on the top of your carpeted wall, and pokes his head over. Then he holds up a heavy blue bucket and says, "Hey you got a second? I need a favor."

What is his nightmare favor?

The Cubicle Dump (No, not that kind)

2011-07-07T17:00:00.001-05:00

Sometimes our professional lives are abruptly interrupted by our personal lives, and no one likes it when those two compartmentalized areas of our lives are unexpectedly brought together. Have you, for example, ever been dumped at work by a significant other or spouse? Was it via email? Phone? Text? In person? How did you handle it?

The Holiday Recap

2011-07-05T09:52:00.003-05:00

How much time will you spend at the office today talking about what you did this Fourth of July weekend?

(a) 5 minutes

(b) 10 minutes

(c) 15 minutes

(d) 20 minutes

(e) 30 minutes

(f) more time than I'd care to admit

Cubicle Relief: Your Fourth of July!!!

2011-06-30T17:16:00.006-05:00

Hooray for the Fourth of July! Which best describes your weekend plans?

(a) taking Monday off of work

(b) taking Friday off of work

(c) taking Friday and Monday off of work

(d) taking neither Friday nor Monday off of work because my job won't allow me; kill me now

Doing anything particularly special to celebrate?

Here Comes July 4th...

2011-06-28T15:30:00.003-05:00

You can feel it. Summer is here. The Fourth of July holiday is approaching. We're getting closer to the end of the week, to Friday -- a day when many Americans will already be on the road to their July 4th destinations. Major holidays are fantastic, of course. But they do affect cubicle dwellers in a negative way by interfering with their ability to focus. The idea of family, friends, cold beer, hotdogs, hamburgers, and fireworks is just too strong of a strain on our capacity to concentrate.

What are you doing to help yourself focus this week?

Higher or Lower?

2011-06-27T18:18:00.000-05:00

Sure, we all tend to hate our carpeted cubicle walls. Some feel their cube walls are too short and don't provide enough privacy. Others feel their cube walls are too high and prevent much-needed access to the coworkers we must collaborate with. Are your cubicle walls too low? Too high? Or just the right height?

Summer Bummer Syndrome

2011-06-23T17:27:00.000-05:00

It's summer and that means most cubicle dwellers will be taking some time out to go on vacation. Awesome, right? Well, not exactly. The supposed benefits of getting out and hitting the beach, sleeping in a mountain cabin, or visiting the ruins of Rome come with one very debilitating reality: you have to come back. You just do. Vacations end. But real life doesn't, and this fact causes millions of cubicle dwellers across America to suffer from post-vacation depression. That feeling that the best week or two of the year is over, and what lies ahead is another 11 months of a predictable life in a drab cubicle environment.

What do you do to stave off Summer Bummer Syndrome upon returning to work?

Woof! Woof!

2011-06-22T16:34:00.000-05:00

Remember, this Friday, June 24, is the 13th annual "Take Your Dog to Work Day" sponsored by Pet Sitters International. We know not everyone is a dog lover, so for you personally, is this day:

(a) a sign that the corporate workplace has not lost its soul, or

(b) a sign that the corporate workplace has totally lost its mind.

Mac vs. PC & You

2011-06-21T12:17:00.002-05:00

There are two types of people: Mac Lovers and PC Lovers. Each type has his or her own reason for loving their particular brands and hating the other. However, the in workplace, employees typically do not enjoy the luxury of choice and must accept whether their company is a Mac company or PC company.

Are you a Mac lover and forced to use a PC at work? Or vice versa? Does it drive you crazy? How do you deal with this? Have you ever attempted to force a change in policy? What happened?

Political Correctness and Sexual Harassment

2011-06-17T13:10:00.000-05:00

Political correctness is an easy punching bag for cynics, but let's face it, it's there for a reason -- a very good reason: to prevent sexual harassment in the workplace and ensure every person is treated with respect and dignity. Political correctness has, however, left many employees befuddled as to what is appropriate and what is inappropriate. For example, do you think the following question, directed at a female cubicle dweller from a male colleague, crosses the line?

"Good morning Sarah. Oh, nice dress. You look very sexy."

Human Time Wasters

2011-06-15T18:29:00.000-05:00

Cubicles, of course, offer both privacy and access to others. It's a difficult balance that doesn't always work out the way it was designed to. Many cubicle workers find themselves dealing with annoying colleagues who don't know when to shut up. Meaningless conversations can go on and on, to the point where they negatively impact your productivity and perhaps even sanity. What percent of your workday is wasted by colleagues who want to engage in empty calorie conversations?

(a) 0%
(b) 10%
(c) 25%
(d) 35%
(e) 45%
(f) more than 50%

Cubicle Question...

2011-06-13T13:07:00.001-05:00

Have you ever witnessed a physical altercation in your cubicle community? If so, how bad was it?

Where Do You Fall?

2011-06-12T12:33:00.001-05:00

Yet another week of disappointing news on the economy only heightens our sense of fear, for both the employed and unemployed. But for cubicle dwellers, who often bitch and complain about the vagaries of their work environment, does the bad economy make you feel a newfound sense of gratitude for having a job, or worse because your workload has doubled and your dreams of someday moving up and on seem delayed indefinitely?

Or perhaps an uneasy combination of both?

Rat-It-Tat-Tat

2011-06-10T22:29:00.001-05:00

For many employees, there are an endless number of annoying noises from talkative coworkers and sneezers to fingernail clippers and toe tappers. But rough typers can be particularly annoying. Those people who wail on their keyboards like they're playing a game of Wack-a-Mole.

Do you sit near someone like that, and if so, how do you handle the noise?

Cubicle Life: Shades of Weiner

2011-06-08T11:47:00.000-05:00

Whenever you hear the word "inappropriate" bandied about, it's time to look around and see who, exactly, determines what is appropriate and inappropriate. Typically it's a loosely agreed upon line of decency that most people concur should not be crossed. Being a married congressman and sexting young women, for example, is generally perceived as inappropriate behavior. However, the point is that some people, even some very intelligent and well-educated people, just don't get it at times.

So imagine the potential for "inappropriate" behavior in a workplace filled with often times hundreds of people. Something is bound to go round. Someone will inevitably cross they line. In fact, they do all of the time. So the next time you stick that photo of your girlfriend at the beach sporting her new fake boobs in a lace bikini to your cubicle wall, you just may want to reconsider your decision. The bar for "inappropriate" in the workplace is very low. Just accept it. Don't be an idiot. Leave the idiocy to politicians.

Cubicle Contest

2011-06-07T16:32:00.002-05:00

Cubicle Poll: Office Chair

2011-06-06T16:17:00.003-05:00

On a scale of 1 to 10, how UNCOMFORTABLE is your office chair?

1 = a pool full of sponges; 10 = a a pool full of hammers and nails

Cubicle Vice: Booze

2011-06-03T16:46:00.000-05:00

Does anyone who works in your cubicle farm openly display a bottle or can of booze in their cube, for whatever reason?

Paperless Office

2011-06-02T08:23:00.000-05:00

It's been almost 20 years now that we've been heralding the arrival of the paperless office. You know, the one where everything is done electronically, and the only paper around is found next to the toilet. Well, here we are in 2011. How far has your office come to being paperless? Is the future now? Or are we a long way away?

Cubicle Clutter...

2011-05-31T16:16:00.000-05:00

On a scale of 1 to 10, how cluttered is your cubicle right now?

1 = impeccably organized, 10 = a total dump

What's that cubicle smell?

2011-05-27T10:22:00.000-05:00

SUMMER! And feet! Have a great weekend everyone and safe travels. When you get back to your cubicle on Tuesday it will unofficially (which is often more important that anything official) be summer! This leads us to the biggest question of all: Will flip-flops be tolerated at the workplace for another summer season?

Cubicle Pets: Ant Farms

2011-05-26T10:15:00.001-05:00

Pet posts continue here at The Cubicle Survival Guide blog as we ask readers what they think of ant farms. So, what do you think of ant farms? Are they cool cubicle pets or cubicle pests that don't belong in the workplace?

Cubicle Quiz: Family vs. Pets

2011-05-25T10:06:00.000-05:00

Do you have more photos of your pet(s) or loved ones hanging in your cubicle. Be honest...

Cubicle Pets: Fish

2011-05-24T09:57:00.000-05:00

Do you or anyone you know have live fish as pets in their cubicle? For some people, it's going a bit to far. For others, a welcome bit of life. What do you think?

Cubicle Funny: Bill Burr on Cubicles

2011-05-23T12:27:00.004-05:00

Cubicle Phone: How Many Rings?

2011-05-20T12:09:00.000-05:00

In general, how many times do you let your work phone ring before picking it up?

(a) One

(b) Two

(d) Four

(e) Never, I let it go to voice mail and screen my calls.

Cubicle Tool: The Cube Guard

2011-05-19T11:56:00.002-05:00

Do you know anyone who uses one of these in their cubicle? Would love to get some feedback. Would this make your life in the office easier, or worse as the subject of ridicule? Hmmmm.

Cubicle Health: The Doctor is In

2011-05-18T17:54:00.001-05:00

It's always a good idea to have a personal first aid kit in your cubicle just for emergencies. Have you, though, ever had to use yours? Perhaps a band aid for a paper cut. Aspirin for a hangover. Or something completely unexpected?

Cubicle Health: First Aid Kit

2011-05-17T17:42:00.002-05:00

Do you have a personal first aid kit at your cubicle? If so, how many of these items do you have in it?

(1) Band Aids

(2) Gauze

(3) Rubbing Alcohol

(4) Cotton Balls

(5) Q-Tips

(6) Eye Drops

(7) Tweesers

(8) X-Ray Machine

(9) Latex Gloves

(10) Scalpel

Cubicle Tool: Classic Office Space Red Swingline Stapler

2011-05-16T21:09:00.000-05:00

For you Office Space fans out there, just wanted to give a heads up that Milton's classic red Swingline stapler can be yours for $13.47.

"If they take my stapler, I'll set the building on fire."

Cubicle Health: Just How Bad Are Things?

2011-05-13T16:39:00.000-05:00

There have been plenty of reports recently, like this one, about how working in a cubicle is so horrible for your health. So let's take it to the cubicle streets and ask our readers just how, specifically, cubicle life is affecting their health. Physically? Mentally? Emotionally?

Cubicle Tool: Stress Relievers

2011-05-12T12:46:00.000-05:00

It's impossible not to get stressed working in a cubicle. For most, it's a daily struggle. And for many, basic health insurance isn't enough to cover all of the psychotherapy needed to diffuse the stress obnoxious coworkers, idiot bosses, and rude clients put on us every day. Thankfully, handheld stress relievers provide a little comfort in the storm, as we grip, twist, and grab our through trying workdays.

Anyone else have other low budget means of reducing stress in the cubicle farm?

Cubicle Sign

2011-05-11T17:24:00.000-05:00

Would you like a sign like this at your cubicle? Seems a little too conspicuous.

Cubicle Justice: Burpers

2011-05-10T00:02:00.000-05:00

How would you handle a fellow employee who, after being asked not to, continues to burp whenever they feel like it regardless of their surroundings?

Cubicle Trend: Coffee vs. Tea

2011-05-09T22:44:00.000-05:00

Is it just me, or do more cubicle workers appear to be drinking more tea than coffee? For decades coffee has been the drug of choice for cubicle dwellers, but are we now adopting a more zen-like approach and choosing relaxing cups of chamomile over caffeine laden mugs of coffee? What's happening in your workplace?

Cubicle Lapse: Spacing Out

2011-05-06T08:39:00.000-05:00

What is longest you have ever "zoned out" while in your cubicle?

Would You Mind Sharing Your Cubicle?

2011-05-05T21:44:00.003-05:00

With the economy still languishing, companies everywhere are looking to save money, and subsequently looking into flex scheduling where employees come in at different hours around the clock to work different shifts, but share the same cubicle.

Would sharing your cubicle with someone else bother you?

Cubicle Humility: I'm Just Like You

2011-05-04T12:16:00.000-05:00

A going trend these days is for the CEOs of companies to forgo corner offices and work in cubicles alongside employees to prove the CEO is not better than anyone else. Do you work in such a place, and if you do, does this gesture actually work?

Cubicle Question: Decorations Budget

2011-05-03T09:23:00.000-05:00

How much money have you spent decorating your cubicle?

(a) Not much at all

(b) More than $30

(c) More than $60

(d) More than $90

(e) More than $150

(f) More than $200

(g) More than $300

(h) More than I should.

Cubicle Talk: The Death of Osama Bin Laden

2011-05-02T14:41:00.000-05:00

It's okay if you're not getting much done at work today. It's been a long ten years fraught with a complex variety of emotions and finally today we all feel a sense of closure on one level or another. Al-Queda founder and leader Osama Bin Laden is dead, killed on Sunday by American special forces. Cubicle communities everywhere are talking about it. And for good reason. Go U.S.A.

Cubicle Video: Etiquette

2011-04-29T19:54:00.000-05:00

Cubicle Bright Idea: Lighting

2011-04-28T20:43:00.000-05:00

Many cubicle dwellers make the mistake of thinking that the lighting in their cubicle is out of their hands. They think corporate is in control of lighting the same way it controls your chairs and those ugly paintings on the hallway walls. But that typically isn't the case. You can add a sense of comfort to your cubicle and reduce strain on your eyes by adding a nice small lamp to your cubicle. Just stay away from those 100-watt bulbs.

Cubicle Food: Happy 40th Cup Noodles

2011-04-27T20:15:00.000-05:00

Cubicle workers everywhere should enjoy a serving of Cup Noodles at their desk this week to celebrate the product's 40th birthday. Cubicle workers on a budget, of which there are millions, feel no shame in saving money by sucking it up and having Cup Noodles at lunch instead of that preferable $8 sandwich from that pseudo-gourmet shop across the street. If only the rest of the country were that responsible with their money.

Cubicle Poll: Children at Work Day

2011-04-26T20:09:00.000-05:00

What do you think of "Bring Your Kids to Work Day?"

(a) I love it.

(b) I don't mind it.

(c) I hate it.

Why?

Which Cubicle Smell is the Worst?

2011-04-25T12:09:00.001-05:00

(1) Tuna Fish

(2) Farts

(3) Cologne

(4) Feet

(5) Popcorn

(6) Bad Breath

(7) Perfume

(8) Onions

Happy Easter!

2011-04-22T13:04:00.000-05:00

Cubicle Creep: The Whistler

2011-04-21T19:12:00.000-05:00

Human beings aren't perfect. We all know that. But some are more annoying than others, and in the cubicle world one of the most annoying characters is the whistler. The worst offenders don't even know they're doing it, which makes for difficulties when asking them to curb their behavior. Do you have a whistler in your cubicle community?

Cubicle Foul: Prairie Dogging

2011-04-20T13:42:00.001-05:00

Let's face it: it's tempting to prairie dog on the cubicle farm. You hear a strange noise. Someone calls your name from a few cubicles away. A terrible smell wafts into your space. Of course you want to stand up and look at the source of what is grabbing your attention. But try not to. Your cubicle neighbors don't appreciate you hovering over the cubicle wall. It's a sure reminder and confirmation of how exposed cubicle employees really are, and no one appreciates that sort of reality check. It's all about respecting your neighbor's space. Leave prairie dogging to the prairie dogs.

Cubicle Creep: The Money Borrower

2011-04-19T11:38:00.001-05:00

We've discussed "borrowers" here before, but usually in reference to coworkers who steal things such as food, condiments, staplers, paperclips, etc. However, the highest level of creepiness is coworkers who have the nerve to ask to borrow money. We're not talking about a car loan, but small denominations for a soda, a parking meter, a bag of pretzels, or even a full lunch. Some promise they'll pay you back. Others just consider it a gift. Either way, you're being taken for a ride, and those types of small loans add up over time. So don't lend your coworkers money. It complicates everything in a very bad way. And if you're a "borrower" reading this post, you know where to go.

Do you work with a "borrower"?

"Cubicle" -- Very Funny!

2011-04-18T14:39:00.000-05:00

Cubicle Icon in Trouble

2011-04-15T22:43:00.000-05:00

All writers and authors know that part of the job these days means becoming your own marketing department as publishers and agents strongly encourage you to create an online presence to promote your work and hopefully create a vibrant fan base. It makes sense, and can be fun. But it appears cubicle icon Scott Adams crossed the line when he anonymously posted on Metafilter under the name PlannedChaos and not only pretended to be a huge fan of his famed Dilbert comic strip, but also exposed himself as being just as human as the characters in his material. Talk about life imitating art, and vice versa. Yikes.

Cubicle Privacy

2011-04-14T22:39:00.001-05:00

Maintaining privacy in a cubicle can be difficult if not impossible. Coworkers are always barging in, "borrowing" things, or just cornering us in our own workspace as they bore us with stories about their kid's basketball camp. What do you do to maintain a sense of privacy at work?

Cubicle Humor

2011-04-13T22:34:00.000-05:00

How Geeked Out Is Your Cubicle?

2011-04-12T20:25:00.000-05:00

On a scale of 1 to 5, how geeked out is your cubicle?

(1) Not at all -- I don't have any tributes to pop culture at all.

(2) A Little -- I have one or two items -- such as a coffee mug or calendar -- that refer to a celebrity, science fiction show, or Muppet character.

(3) Somewhat -- My cubicle has three or four different items that celebrate space creatures, fantasy movies, or teen singing sensations.

(4) More than Average -- I'm possessive of my tributes to characters and creatures that don't exists in real life or infatuated with celebrities I'll never meet.

(5) Totally Obsessed -- I see my cubicle mates and work life through the eyes of the aliens, stuffed animals, and celebrity bobbleheads that adorn my cubicle space, and I protect them with all of my being.

Get Ready to Say Goodbye to Your Cubicle Neighbors

2011-04-11T16:14:00.000-05:00

According to this article on ABC News, 36% of employees want to quit their jobs but haven't because the recession has had them scared to do so. However, as the economy improves employees everywhere are becoming emboldened by their prospects and are actively, though subtly, pursuing the prospect of other opportunities. Though the terrible economy has been hardest on the unemployed, we often forget about the unhappily employed. Hopefully the future will be better for everyone.

Cubicle Character: The Gum Chewer

2011-04-08T17:10:00.000-05:00

What bothers you the most about gum chewers in the cubicle next to you?

(1) the sound

(2) the smell

(3) the unprofessionalism

(4) they won't share

(5) when they drop it on the carpet

(6) nothing

Cubicle Life: A Taxing Situation

2011-04-07T15:56:00.000-05:00

Do you, or someone you know at work, secretly do their taxes online using company resources during company time? Let's face it. We know many people do a large percentage of their holiday shopping while at work, but is doing your taxes in the workplace unacceptable behavior?

Cubicle Trivia: Etymology

2011-04-06T17:43:00.003-05:00

Where does the word "cubicle" come from?

The Greek term "cubuculus" meaning "square."

The Latin term "cubiculum" meaning "bed chamber."

The Italian word "cubici" meaning "privacy."

The French word "cubiquoi" meaning "workspace."

The German word "cubda" meaning "efficiency."

Cubicle Psychology: Projection

2011-04-05T18:59:00.002-05:00

Do you have coworkers in your cubicle community who bring their personal problems to the workplace? Of course you do. In fact, you may even be one of those people. We're all human, after all. People get divorced. Their kids land in jail. They go bankrupt. Their favorite uncle passes away. However, we all know the importance of professionalism, so if you feel overwhelmed by your personal life and can't perform at work or prevent yourself from freaking out on that colleague who cracks his knuckles constantly, take a few personal days off. Don't project your personal pain onto your coworkers. Lean on your personal connections: friends, family, your spiritual leader, your local bartender. Don't let personal losses lead to professional ones.

Cubicle WTF?: Socks People

2011-04-04T17:28:00.000-05:00

Have you ever worked with someone who walks around in socks at work?

Beware: April Fool's Day Office Idiots

2011-04-01T18:40:00.000-05:00

Deep down, all of us think we're pretty damn funny. Some of us even think we're freaking hilarious, and when people don't laugh at our humorous observations or genius pranks, we think it's because others don't have a sense of humor. The only thing more annoying than an unfunny idiot is an unfunny narcissistic idiot. And the latter group sees April Fool's Day as a reason to celebrate and exercise their unique and hilarious talents. Especially at the office. And these people suck. We all know it. So be vigilant. Don't believe anything. Lock down your stuff. Keep a low profile. You may be one of the few subjects of or witnesses to a real quality joke, but just like alcoholics say about New Year's Eve, it's amateurs day -- but just for "funny" people. So good luck, and feel free to comment on anything you may have seen on April Fool's Day 2011.

Empty Cubicle Syndrome

2011-03-31T13:59:00.000-05:00

For the past few years Empty Cubicle Syndrome (ECS) has had a profound affect on employees across the globe. As the economy tanked and cubicle workers everywhere were getting laid off, ECS crept into the minds of those still employed as they worked next to an empty cubicle, or stretches of empty cubicles, where their good friends and colleagues once worked. Though employed cubicle dwellers are of course happy to still have a job, it's perfectly natural to miss the departed, and perhaps even harbor some pangs of survivor's guilt every now and then. Anyone out there suffer from ECS?

Irish John Munnelly Sings "Did I Leave the Cubicle"

2011-03-30T16:39:00.005-05:00

Check out his live show this weekend on Saturday, April 2, at the PATH Cafe at 131 Christopher Street in New York City. Show starts at 9pm.

Lyrics:

Scratching in the office bored out my brain

Squinting at a spreadsheet, trying to explain

Plotting how I’d change, could I survive without this job

jumpy from the coffee, a man facing his lynch mob

Did I leave the cubicle or did the cubicle leave me?

I suppose that I got pissed/ sick off with the way things were with me

always an emergency, something to fix cause it was broke

the thing that kept me going was my girlfriend and my jokes

Did I leave the cubicle or did the cubicle leave me?

Cubicle Love: Office Romances

2011-03-29T09:25:00.005-05:00

Fifty percent of Americans fall in love with someone at the workplace. Whoa. What to do? Watch this:

Bottom line: Don't have sex in the office. Don't fall for your boss. The down low is your friend. Married couples at work are "sad sacks" but still "kinda sweet."

Cubicle Number of the Day: 30%

2011-03-28T19:52:00.000-05:00

Wow! Really?

According to this article only 30% of companies' Internet traffic is related to actual work.

Is this statistic true for you?

Cubicle Creep: The Office Lamprey

2011-03-25T16:27:00.000-05:00

From Chapter Seven of The Cubicle Survival Guide:

Every office has an odd-looking employee who swims around the cubicle community, latches onto unsuspecting colleagues, and sucks their patience dry before moving on to the next cubicle. This individual is known as the office lamprey. An actual lamprey is an aggressive parasite that resembles an eel but employs a round, razor-sharp-tooth-filled mouth that flares out and fastens onto a host fish. An anticoagulant in the lamprey's saliva allows it to siphon the life out of its prey for hours or weeks or until the host dies.

For more on the Office Lamprey pick up a cheap copy of The Cubicle Survival Guide today!

Cubicle Creep: The Borrower

2011-03-24T17:34:00.000-05:00

The Borrower is a member of the cubicle community who constantly borrows stuff from the desks and cubicles of others, often times never returning the items. They never seem to have their own supplies, and then scoot back in their chairs, lean left or right, and say, "Hey, can I borrow a paperclip?" or "Nancy, can I borrow your stapler for a second? or "Do you have any hand sanitizer I can borrow?" For those unfortunate souls that must sit next to or near a Borrower, learn the power of this word: No. Sometimes borrowing is just a really polite way of stealing.

Cubicle Trivia: About How Many Americans Work in Cubicles?

2011-03-23T09:28:00.000-05:00

(a) 15 million

(b) 20 million

(c) 30 million

(d) 40 million

(e) 50 million

Answer revealed on Friday.

Cubicle Dilemma: When Do You Say Something?

2011-03-22T09:12:00.001-05:00

It happens. Coughers. Throat clearers. Grunters. Snifflers. We all have coworkers who do things that annoy us. Particularly this time of year, when people often get a little sick as we transition from winter to spring. But sitting next to someone who constantly clears their throat of coughs can be beyond annoying. That presents the problem of how to handle that annoyance. Do you say something? If so, what?

Cubicle Health: Spring Fever

2011-03-21T16:40:00.001-05:00

Well, it's officially spring. And we all know that makes working in a cubicle all day even harder. So take breaks when you can and go outside for a quick walk. You'll be amazed by how much better it makes you feel.

Any other suggestions for dealing with spring fever while sitting in a cubicle?

Cubicle Poll: Hungover Coworkers

2011-03-18T15:16:00.000-05:00

Following which day are your coworkers the most hungover?

(a) Super Bowl

(b) St. Patrick's Day

(c) Holiday Party

(d) Fourth of July

(e) Valentine's Day

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2011-03-17T15:10:00.000-05:00

Feng Shui for Cubicles

2011-03-16T15:08:00.000-05:00

Cubicle Honesty: Are You Happy?

2011-03-15T15:14:00.003-05:00

It's weird. Not so long ago working in a cubicle was considered to be an undesirable situation. Movies such as Office Space and television shows like The Office became hugely popular simply by making fun of the various frustrations associated with office life. Today, however, unemployment remains above 9%, meaning nearly 10 million Americans are unemployed and would certainly take work in a cubicle over no work at all. Yet, those who work in cubicles still bemoan their daily plights against surly colleagues, rude coworkers, and idiot managers. So for all of you cubicle dwellers out there, a simple question: Are you happy? Do you consider yourself lucky, or were your childhood dreams squashed for whatever reason, and you simply deal with the unwanted reality of cubicle life?

Cubicle List: Annoying Coworkers

2011-03-14T10:31:00.000-05:00

The Top Ten Annoying Coworkers:

(1) The Loud Talker
(2) The Smelly Food Eater
(3) Too Much Perfume/Cologne Person
(4) The Barge into Your Cubicle Person
(5) The Whiner
(6) The Kitchen Slob
(7) The Farter
(8) The Fingernail Clipper
(9) The Gum Chewer/Smacker
(10) Obnoxious Laugh Person

And if you need to vent, check annoyingcoworker.com. It's a great read and the perfect sounding board for disgruntled cubicle dwellers.

Daylight Savings Is This Weekend!

2011-03-11T17:17:00.003-05:00

Remember to "spring forward" an hour this Sunday, March 13. Don't show up to work an hour late on Monday! Hey, it happens.

Cubicle True or False? Taking Your Shoes Off at Your Cubicle Is Highly Unprofessional

2011-03-10T14:49:00.000-05:00

Answer: True.

That may sound uptight, but it's a necessary rule because the same standard must apply to everyone, and if everyone was free to take off their shoes, it wouldn't take long before someone -- or several people -- with smelly feet began to stink up your work environment.

If you need to take your shoes off, don't blame your workplace. Blame your shoes.

Cubicle Humor: A Test

2011-03-09T12:01:00.001-05:00

If someone did this to your cubicle, would you think it is funny? Be honest.

The Cubicle Survival Guide Now on Facebook!

2011-03-08T00:32:00.015-05:00

For a while it was sufficient to have The Cubicle Survival Guide represented by this blog with social networking outreach via Twitter, but with the down economy still on its knees, and global financial prospects looking sluggish at best, working in a cubicle is no longer stigmatized by the oppressive overtones that once haunted cubicles since the publication of TCSG in February of 2007. (If your disagree feel free to debate -- yes, here or on TCSG's Facebook Page.)

Having a cubicle today means you have a job, and though cubicle life will never be perfect, working in a cubicle is now considered a desirable position to be in. Nevertheless, human nature won't change, and cubicle inhabitants will always need a safe place to vent, which is why The Cubicle Survival Guide in now on Facebook. So before you say something you regret to a coworker or spout off about that guy who farts or the neurotic woman who leaves messages for her cat at home, visit The Cubicle Survival Guide Facebook page so that you know you're not alone.

Just click here and delve right in. We're all in this together.

Cubicle Must: The Sweat Towel

2011-03-07T12:29:00.001-05:00

Today, more and more cubicle dwellers are riding their bikes to work, going for a run during work hours, and working out at the gym during lunch. And that's a good thing. Healthy employees are productive and happy employees, and employers should do everything they can to promote a healthy lifestyle at the workplace. However, when exercise crosses the line and enters the work environment, problems arise. Especially when it comes to hygiene. You should, of course, shower after running or working out, and return to work fresh and dressed appropriately. If you work out at the office building, chances are your body is still overheated from the workout, and you'll continue to sweat for a while in your cubicle. If you ride your bike to work, a sweat towel is imperative as you must wipe yourself down a little before beginning the workday. Congratulations on being healthy. But your sweat is gross. Make sure to always have a -- clean! -- sweat towel discreetly located in your cubicle.

Cubicle Decor: Paperclip Art

2011-03-04T00:14:00.001-05:00

We've addressed the many ways to make art out of standard cubicle items and tools, but paperclip art is perhaps the most accessible and dynamic form or expression available to cubicle dwellers. Paperclip art has been around for a while, and for good reason, so when you have a few spare minutes and need to relieve some stress pick up a few paperclips and start bending. It may just be the calming element you need to get through a tough hour, or day for that matter.

Cubicle Footwear: How Many Pairs of Shoes Do You Have?

2011-03-03T10:19:00.001-05:00

Many people have their work shoes and their getting to work shoes. This is especially common during the winter, when many people wear boots or shoes meant to deter the elements: snow, sloshy streets, icy sidewalks, and freezing temperatures. That, however, creates a problem for cubicle workers challenged with limited space at the workplace. Upon arriving at work women often change into heels and men change into the expensive kicks. Which means many of us have extra pairs of shoes shoved somewhere in our cubicles. How many do you have?

Cubicle News: The iPad 2

2011-03-02T19:45:00.002-05:00

All cubicle dwellers work hard for their money, so for all of you who spent your hard-earned cash on the iPad, well, your investment just dropped in value as today Apple launched the iPad 2. It's sort of like being the cool kid in school only to have an even cooler kid move in from out of town. Sure, upgrades are inevitable, but this one seems to have occurred particularly fast. Either way, the iPad 2 is here to stay -- for now, at least -- which means there is another platform for you to buy a digital copy of The Cubicle Survival Guide. Read it on your new iPad 2 for peace of mind whenever your coworkers are driving you crazy.

Cubicle Dilemma: Loud Food & Loud Eaters

2011-03-01T13:21:00.002-05:00

First of all, we must consider the difference between loud food and loud eaters. Unfortunately, however, neither problem is easily fixed. If you ask someone who is eating loud food such as raw vegetables or potato chips to please make less noise, there isn't much they can do. Eating those foods makes noise. Overly sensitive employees will take offense to such a request; reasonable employees will go to the kitchen, or anywhere else, and finish their food their.

Loud eaters pose a more difficult problem because asking them to make less noise means you are commenting on something very personal -- they way they eat, which many contend is something we have little control over, like the way we talk or the way we walk. So if you sit next to someone who chomps, slurps, and slaps their gum all over, be careful when asking them to change their behavior. Do it tactfully. Take a broader approach and tell them how it is beneficial in many ways to eat one's lunch away from their desk. Beneficial in many ways for everyone.

Funny enough, there's even a Facebook page dedicated to loud eaters.

Deadbeat Cubicle Dwellers

2011-02-28T14:47:00.001-05:00

Much like in your neighborhood, your cubicle property value is directly related to how well your neighbors keep up their cubicles. No one wants to spend eight or ten hours a day sitting next to a deadbeat cubicle dweller who doesn't do a thing to bring even an iota of personality of creativity to their workspace. You don't have to go overboard, actually you shouldn't, but it is important to have a plant or family photo on your desk to let others know that you are indeed a human being with emotions and thoughts and not a beaten down drone who has given up on being themselves at work.

Scary Cubicle Fact: Germs

2011-02-25T13:42:00.001-05:00

Did you know that your desk contains about 400 times more germs than a toilet seat? Well, it does, according to Discovery Health.

Top Ten Personal Cubicle Amenities

2011-02-24T21:08:00.001-05:00

(1) Family/Pet Photos

(2) Cell Phone/Device Recharger

(3) Coffee Mug

(4) Plant

(5) Calendar

(6) Postcard

(7) Hand Sanitizer

(8) Artwork by a Child

(9) Inspirational Sign/Button/Clipping

(10) Medication

Does this order look right to you? What am I missing?

Cubicle Annoyance: The Cc: Douchebag

2011-02-23T16:27:00.001-05:00

There's one in every workplace and they are universally hated. The Cc: douchebag. You know, that person who insists on Cc:-ing emails to your boss, your boss's boss, and every other coworker in the company about some mistake you made that they -- being a diligent employee -- discovered on their own. Of course, they'll phrase the backstabbing email as if they're baffled and are just following up with a legitimate question that others also might have about YOUR mistake. It's classic passive-aggressive speak and usually goes something like this, "Hey, Bob. Thanks so much for the details regarding the Killington project. Great work!!! Just one little question... " And that's how it's done. If front of everyone. It the most polite way imaginable. In the most underhanded way possible.

Cubicle Quiz: What Year Were Cubicles Invented?

2011-02-22T13:18:00.003-05:00

(a) 1957

(b) 1964

(c) 1971

(d) 1980

No Googling! Guess if you have to!

Answer will be revealed on Thursday, February 24.